Ok so I realized it had been forever since I've gotten on the server. I was browsing the forums for old times sake and decided it would be a good idea to officially put in my leave. I've already been gone for about 2 months but I just wanted to say this. I made a lot of good friends on FRG and I loved the time I spent playing. I was actually planning on applying for Member +, I still have the completed application saved on my phone. I kinda just got burnt out on TTT. Anyways, I'm officially leaving now for a while. I'll probably get on sometime in the distant future and play. But for now, adios friends! You guys are amazing and I'll never forget you!

On a look scale: 9
On a cuteness scale: 10
On an ａｅｓｔｈｅｔｉｃ: 6

Age: 15

Steam Name(Current): crippling depression.
Time played on servers?(!time username to check): 4 hours 30 minutes.

Where did you hear about this server?: I was scrolling through the TTT server lists and found this server

Have you ever been banned and why?: No, i have never been banned because i usually know the rules on most servers, and if i do end up doing something wrong i come out and apologize like a mature person.

Why do you want to join?: I like the community, they are super helpful, i love the inventory stuff i find that really cool brings a whole new aspect to TTT. I also want to join because i really like TTT and want to dedicate my time to playing it more often, and why not on your server? Thats about all I hope its enough!

So.... I'm making this post in regards to last night and before.

I know what kind of mark I have left here. How much I have overstayed my welcome. I never really have done well with TTT (I'm too competitive and I mess around too much). And that it's very, very, unlikely I will ever be allowed to come back no matter what I do. But I just wanna apologize, though I didn't really hurt anybody here but myself. I guess i'm just doing this for the sake of apologizing, I'm not doing this to get approval for an unban, You guys most likely won't ever see me on these forums or your server ever again. (Good riddance rite?) But I'm sorry for those i've offended or caused too much damage within my time on this server. I've caused so much to get THREE permanent bans. I've never been a proper player nor do I think I ever will be when it comes to not just FRG but TTT in general. I'm not asking for anyone's forgiveness, I don't want it nor do I ever expect to get it. I don't know if i'm doing this just to get it out of my head, that I felt I needed to do this or whatever. I don't deserve anyone's pity, sympathy or anything else of the sort (again... I don't expect to get it). But for what it's worth... on the days I wasn't causing grief and other shit. It was nice playing it really was.

Double Barreled Shotgun
+50% Damage
-50% Accuracy
-6 Clip

Right click to shoot both bullets at once OR 1 in 3 chance to break someone's SHIN causing them to slow down to crouching speed and taking bleed damage.

Things that should be noted before this post:

1. I am not posting this for forgiveness. I am not posting this to get unbanned. I am not posting this for attention. I am posting this because I feel I have the moral responsibility to apologize for my actions.

2. If this thread is to be deleted and this account is to be banned, so be it. I won't bother again.

3. I don't expect anyone to "trust" in my apology or believe in my regret. Hate on me all you want. Give me as much shit as you want. I don't want ANYONE to defend me as I don't deserve it. I'm sure the majority of the people who see this will believe that every word I say is bullshit, and that's okay, I deserve it, although I guarantee you that I mean every word I say in this post.

4. I will not be reading any of the responses to this thread or be going back on the forums after this. I've seen enough about how disappointing my behavior was and I understand how disappointed you all are, and since I expect a lot of hate and brutally honest replies, i don't want to put myself through reading anymore negative things about me as it only makes me feel worse than I already do.

5. Tbh I'm trying my hardest not to make this post a guilt trip so I'm sorry if it seems like it. Last thing I want to do is guilt people into feeling bad for me.


I guess I'll start by stating a fact. I fucked up. A lot. After nearly two years of being part of this community, I betrayed the community and all of the people here who once saw me as their friend. I said things that no one should EVER say to another person no matter the situation. My immediate reaction towards Brass demoting me to member was pure anger and confusion. I didn't believe I deserved it at all, so I erupted. Anyone who I had recent feud with on frg, I decided to pretty much go "fuck it" and show them that I dislike them in the worst possible way. I'll be blunt here and admit that I have no fucking idea what's wrong with me because no one should react the way I did, but not only 4-5 hours after what I did I was clouded with nothing but a feeling of regret and dread, and for the last few days since this occurred I've felt absolutely horrible. Not because I got myself banned, but because I showed I guess my "true colors" to people who once looked up to me as a staff member and as a friend.

The more I read through the "Nuggie ordeal" thread, however, the more I realize how many chances I received on here, how I didn't deserve most of them, and that demotion was far more than warranted (and as brass said, my ban even more so).If anyone else was in my position they would have lost their rank a long time ago, and I probably should have lost my rank a long time ago seeing how much drama and bullshit I've contributed to this place.

I'm immensely sorry to every single person on frg. I can't even properly put it into words how much remorse is running through me.

Goodbye, and sorry again for, well, everything.

Playing TTT on a daily basis you hear the word cancer said countless times, typically to describe some overpowered gun or a minigame. Because of recent personal experiences, hearing this over and over again causes me to physically cringe pretty hard and generally puts down my mood. Even if someone means it as a kind of 'roast joke' hearing things along the lines of "I hope you have two beautiful children and they both get cancer" is pretty fucked up and really slices open thinly sealed wounds. I hate to drag personal experiences into TTT, and hate to be "that guy" when I know most people are just having fun without really thinking about what they're saying. All I ask is for people to please cut back on using cancer to literally describe everything negative in TTT, I'm not asking for some kind of restriction to peoples vocabularies, just to cut back on using it so much. Thank you for understanding everyone.

Steam Name (Current): ᴅ є н χ

Steam Name (During incident): Dehx

Steam ID:STEAM_0:1:9091788

Steam Profile Link: http://www.steamcommunity.com/id/dehx

Name of staff you were banned by: Brassx

Length of the Ban: Permanent

Would you like your ban shortened or repealed?: Either would be fine.

Reason for ban: Exploiting an event bug.

Did you commit the actions stated in the ban reason?: Yes.

What happened?: So I know you guys already have a VERY shitty opinion about me. Being banned twice. within 6 month periods. I could sit here all day and tell you shit about how much i've changed, I mean I could write a novel about it. I don't even know why i'm writing this seeing as how 99% of you are going to turn me down. But I guess it's just to let myself know I tried. I know my offenses have been horrid, posting the fucked up cat video, saying "N****R" etc.. But during that time my parent's were divorcing, I had recently been diagnosed with juvenile bipolar disorder and a ton of other shit. I know this is no real excuse and nor can there ever be. But i'm sorry... okay? I really am, I really just want you all to know that. And I really just want one last chance. I'm practically begging for it, and would do whatever it takes for it. I really mean it and I would appreciate it if the tiniest bit of leniency was shown here. I'm practically begging for it. Please, just 1 more chance.

Just a simple idea for forums from what i see from the darkrp server forums im apart of is that you can use @[name] to target people in your post and notify in a topic including them or in a report it helps alot from my experience so if i did @brassx it would take brass's name and highlight it and notify him of the post he was tagged in

Steam Name (Current): Celery God

Steam Name (During incident): Celery God™

Steam ID: STEAM_0:0:26830324

Steam Profile Link: http://steamcommunity.com/id/rmaring/

Name of staff you were banned by: McNuggie

Length of the ban: Permanent

Would you like your ban shortened or repealed?: It would make more sense for it to be repealed, but I'll settle for whatever.

Reason for ban: Ghosting + RDM and leave / refusal to slay.

Did you commit the actions stated in the ban reason?: The details are fuzzy, but I'm pretty sure I had accidentally ghosted if that makes any sense. The other two are true, I think.

Additional details:
       Look, I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I was being a little dick the night I got banned. I had RDM'd someone for funsies, and I refused to kill myself for a round. Earlier that day I was on the teamspeak with a few people on the staff (I think it was Chosen, McNuggie, Cyan, and a couple of others). I think I accidentally let the location of someone slip. Now, at this point there was a lot of bullshit going on in my life, and not only was I an asshole, I didn't know how to handle it. I caused a lot of drama because of it. They say hindsight is 20/20, and this made me realize why. I'm not using this as an excuse, just telling the reason why I was like that. I would like to apologize for being like that.
       Another thing I'd like to apologize for is my forum posts, back then. A year ago I was a lot more dickish than I am now, and I didn't know how to handle life. Since then I'd like to think I've learned more about myself and the world, and I can better filter myself and be more, normal, I guess. You'd have to be the judge of that. I know that none of you can really do that, but it's been a year. I'd just like another chance. I'd appreciate it very much if you could do this for me.

EDIT: So, I've been on the forums for a few days. I really hadn't realized how much and how deeply I wanted it until I looked at the beginners guide. Those inventory screenshots hit my soul in a way something from a video game never has before. I gazed at the tutorial screenshots for the crystals; the warmth of nostalgia filled my veins, and I had never felt such intense want for such a simple thing since I was a child. There is so much I miss about playing on this server, and I really regret ever taking it for granted. Talking to you guys in the shoutbox enveloped me in a warm comfortable blanket of belonging that nothing else ever has. This means so much more to me than just playing TTT again. This was my hangout after school for months, it was the thing that distracted me from those lonely nights when I didn't have any friends other than you guys. I love this place, and I never want to have to leave it again. Please, Grass, Brass, both of you, I beg you, allow me to have this privilege again.