04-16-2019, 09:15 AM
I'm sorry if this seems like it's coming out of nowhere, but there's really no avoiding this anymore.
As of this post I don't plan on playing FRG anymore.
This was going to be a departure, but I did say I was never going to depart and I plan on sticking to that.
If I come back later it'll most likely be after quite some time.
In reality I was going to make this post a year ago, at my lowest point with the server, feeling like anything I did up to that point was a complete waste of time and anything I contributed meant nothing. There was nothing left for me here anymore, all of the people I knew were either gone or moving onto other things. I didn't have a place here anymore. Being told I was best off as just a player just cemented the feelings of unappreciation and unwant. Where can you really go from there?
Looking at it from a different light I said to hell with it, why not just be a player? Why not the "best player" whatever that is?
If I had done everything I thought I could have done for the server why not for myself or my enjoyment?
Why not "forge my journey from scratch"? A bit memey, but the point was I decided to play how I wanted to, as a player.
I really enjoyed doing events, so I did them, a lot. I met a few other people who also liked events and we did some pretty cool things(you may have heard of us). I really enjoyed the time we had coming up with strategies, testing new stuff all for the purpose of getting things done slightly faster to bring that record down even further. I've accomplished a lot of goals, by myself and with them, numerous times and I'm glad to say I got to experience the best time I've had while here with them.
Now I'm here, in seemingly the same boat as before. More people moved on, friendships fade, and I'm still here, my feelings haven't changed. The records we set are not in stone and can change with the right people getting sweaty enough. My bank value is immense but the inventory could not matter less to me and regardless I'm tradebanned with no intentions of changing that. All I have left is personal goals which I can pointlessly grind for months to no avail. That feeling of achievement really isn't there anymore. The thing I've always hated most is the feeling of being stuck and unable to progress.
To tell you the truth I wanted any sort of reason to stay, but it's become very apparent to me how much time I do waste on the server doing nothing which I find fun or productive, and the more time I spend the less I have to show for it.
So for now I'm going to find different hobbies and try to enjoy my time more. I don't know when I'll come back, if I'll come back.
I've seen how greatly the server can change over such a short time, in such big ways. In NTG when I took a break I came back to a new inventory system and a massive community forming. When I returned here grims had just released which kicked off my love of events.
I've been here through a lot, and you guys have been here for me through a lot. I have a couple hundred of regrets and some unresolved issues but it's nothing time won't change.
Whatever ends up happening, I hope the best for you guys.
-Kuro
Also this thread was meant to be posted yesterday but I've sort of mulled over it for quite some time and never got the right words so I spent a very long time writing, re-writing, and going over this. I'm pretty indecisive and you should know that by now, so for my sake can we pretend like I posted this on the April 15th like my standards demand I have to?
In return feel free to message me over steam or discord if you have me added(or want to), I'm always happy to talk to you guys.
As of this post I don't plan on playing FRG anymore.
This was going to be a departure, but I did say I was never going to depart and I plan on sticking to that.
If I come back later it'll most likely be after quite some time.
In reality I was going to make this post a year ago, at my lowest point with the server, feeling like anything I did up to that point was a complete waste of time and anything I contributed meant nothing. There was nothing left for me here anymore, all of the people I knew were either gone or moving onto other things. I didn't have a place here anymore. Being told I was best off as just a player just cemented the feelings of unappreciation and unwant. Where can you really go from there?
Looking at it from a different light I said to hell with it, why not just be a player? Why not the "best player" whatever that is?
If I had done everything I thought I could have done for the server why not for myself or my enjoyment?
Why not "forge my journey from scratch"? A bit memey, but the point was I decided to play how I wanted to, as a player.
I really enjoyed doing events, so I did them, a lot. I met a few other people who also liked events and we did some pretty cool things(you may have heard of us). I really enjoyed the time we had coming up with strategies, testing new stuff all for the purpose of getting things done slightly faster to bring that record down even further. I've accomplished a lot of goals, by myself and with them, numerous times and I'm glad to say I got to experience the best time I've had while here with them.
Now I'm here, in seemingly the same boat as before. More people moved on, friendships fade, and I'm still here, my feelings haven't changed. The records we set are not in stone and can change with the right people getting sweaty enough. My bank value is immense but the inventory could not matter less to me and regardless I'm tradebanned with no intentions of changing that. All I have left is personal goals which I can pointlessly grind for months to no avail. That feeling of achievement really isn't there anymore. The thing I've always hated most is the feeling of being stuck and unable to progress.
To tell you the truth I wanted any sort of reason to stay, but it's become very apparent to me how much time I do waste on the server doing nothing which I find fun or productive, and the more time I spend the less I have to show for it.
So for now I'm going to find different hobbies and try to enjoy my time more. I don't know when I'll come back, if I'll come back.
I've seen how greatly the server can change over such a short time, in such big ways. In NTG when I took a break I came back to a new inventory system and a massive community forming. When I returned here grims had just released which kicked off my love of events.
I've been here through a lot, and you guys have been here for me through a lot. I have a couple hundred of regrets and some unresolved issues but it's nothing time won't change.
Whatever ends up happening, I hope the best for you guys.
-Kuro
Also this thread was meant to be posted yesterday but I've sort of mulled over it for quite some time and never got the right words so I spent a very long time writing, re-writing, and going over this. I'm pretty indecisive and you should know that by now, so for my sake can we pretend like I posted this on the April 15th like my standards demand I have to?
In return feel free to message me over steam or discord if you have me added(or want to), I'm always happy to talk to you guys.
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