(11-16-2015, 12:55 PM)Psychotic Dave Wrote:(11-16-2015, 12:21 PM)Vladimir Wrote: As fuzzy said It was a irresponsible decision that for some reason I rushed into it. None of it is taken lightly. At all. And most of you knew me then and you can all probably say you don't know why I did it. I am completely different now and I hope you trust my word.
Back on your Member application, McNuggie said he trusted you as a Member of the community and you broke not only his trust, but the trust of everyone in the community. Trusting your word really doesn't sit well with me after that. Someone said it has been around eight months since you were banned and I really don't believe someone can be completely different after such a short period of time.
Another thing that bothers me is where you said "I still do not know why I did it..". No one could possibly know but you. Saying you don't know why you did it is showing that you either make quick decisions and blind yourself from the consequences, or that you can't bring yourself to admit why you did it because you still feel guilt or regret. You also said you hate yourself for it, but is that because you were caught? If you were somehow never caught, could you honestly say you wouldn't still have an aim-bot, or any other hacks or scripts?
I've done pretty terrible things in real life and I got caught. I hated myself for what I did and I told myself I wouldn't do it again, that I was a better person than that. I didn't feel guilty about it because it was wrong, I felt regret because I was caught. I'd think of ways I could have gotten away with it. I know why I did it and it's because it made me happy; even if only for a small period of time. I still do terrible things. The truth is that once you get a taste of darkness, you begin to realize that you're happier doing what you want when you want, regardless of others. After a while, you'll realize that you didn't taste the darkness, it tasted you.
Look I'm going to be completely honest I don't want to sound like cheese but, I let shit get to me. my CD at the time was taking a toll. I found my self giving my most prized possession and inventory away because I was sad. It led me to make the irrational decision that hey maybe if I did this it would take me happy again but it just led to nothing in the end. It did make me happy for only a short time.
If I were somehow never cought I don't think I would have ever lost as many friends as I did. I would have never got help from anyone. I do admit that made me happy just for that time. I still reget it because I'm.maf at my self for not trying to push through my CD but I let it get to me. I do truly care about everyone and the community and the fun, you may say oh he dosent care because he hack. No I still cared about it, I just let real lie depression get to me.
Sorry.