11-08-2016, 05:37 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-08-2016, 06:02 PM by Callschanov Bhugavich.)
tl;dr at the very bottom
Howdy everybody. So I just want to address some issues here and give a big thank you to everyone here. This will also kinda be my 'greeting' to those that cannot remember me or never HAVE met me.
Okay then so, hi, my name is Matt as most people know me, or Isaac. You may have met me on NTG waayyy back in the original years, or you might've met me on FRG, here! So I don't know how to take this whole situation and write it down easily along with a thank you so, just bear with me that I'm really tired. So you might be wondering, "Why have I never heard of this random-ass guy if he seems to carry himself like everyone knows him???", well to explain that, I was banned for a LONG time; I'm just now coming back, about 3-4 months and going strong so far. So if you know me or you don't, hi, I'm always lookin' for friends so please go ahead and friend me, have a chat. Okay so now that I've gotten that part over with, I'm gunna go into some details as to why I'm kinda coming on less and less.
So currently, mostly nobody is going to know about my current situation with my family and such, and yeah you can guess it's pretty damn bad. So about.. March of last year, my mother got results back on a petscan and multiple scans she's had before, because we have a longggg ass line of stuff that runs in the family, diabetes is a big bad one, although none of my family I live with is likely to get diabetes.
For the longest time me and my mother, and my godmother had planned to go out to that one Harry potter place out in Orlando I believe its in, with my now current worst ex I've ever had. We were days away from actually going when my mother had gotten her scan results and as you could guess, that very day changed my whole life and me permanently. It was as I had expected, cancer. So on this specific date which I need to go back to remember the exact day, my mother was diagnosed with stage-3 breast cancer, or more over, it was simply just breast cancer at the time. I really didn't know ANYTHING about cancer at the time, all I knew was that this shit killed people, and a lot of them. Jump forward to my mother's first day of chemotherapy after we discovered the severity of her cancer, and how serious this was. I had completely no idea what chemotherapy looked like and I thought it'd look, much more terrifying than what it really is. For those of you that don't know what chemo looks like, you get sat down in a chair with an IV unit or some kind of unit that deals you doses of liquid through a needle in your body, and you simply sit there for hours and occupy yourself. It's quite sad to look at at first, walking into a chemo clinic you might notice a lot of older folk, tons of hospital equipment and a drug testing room with clear glass walls, where they work with substances I can only assume are the medicines that is being taken by the patients residing in said clinic. The clinic my mother was designated to was absolutely beautiful aside from some of the interior paint being bland and boring, they had an outside zen garden with a pool of water, FULL of koi fish, life, and many animals and flowers. Now for the first few times or as many as I could, I went to this clinic with my mother just to keep her company while she had her dose of chemo. Another flash back to a few months past that, around 8. My mother had beaten cancer and it then came back a few weeks later, this time, it was in her spine, a deadly place for it to appear in. Many more times has my mother beaten cancer and only to have it come back, about 5 times. This remission she was in as of lately has been the LONGEST she has ever gone without cancer, she takes oral chemotherapy every day which is much, much more taxing on her. So as of lately, my mother is taking her long awaited trip to Iceland and home to England with her best friend, she has been wanting to do this since she was 13 and she is FINALLY doing it. You'd think finally, after all this time that cancer would give up, wouldn't you. Just last week we received news that she has cancer in her left lung, a lump about the side of two-three pennies. You'd think we can beat it this time, we as in my family and my mother, right? Well, this cancer just so happens to be right in front of her heart, ALMOST touching it. Right now, she's out in England before her trip out for Iceland, and she's uploading updates to things daily with lovely photos of my British family and such, but one post she made stood out. This is a quote from the post : "Well, due to a bit of a health issue. Iceland has had to be cancelled today." I don't even know what this could mean, she was coughing up blood earlier and holy shit, I can't explain this fear in me. I'm only sixteen right now, currently I'm just a small guy, I don't know where my future is going and without my mother? I don't know what I can do. I just want to state that, I'm incredibly sorry for my absence friends, I'm not able to cope with this.
If I need to edit this, I surely will be rereading it once I'm less tired to fix any mistakes, I want to say one more thing. This is also a thank you to my many amazing friends that I have on FRG and I consider most of you my family. I'd like to personally thank the following people for being amazing to me, and supporting me through everything :
-- Fuzzy Mcnomnoms (Absolutely the biggest supporter and friend of mine next to Kuro, he has helped me unbelievably in making a return and he has such a strong will, he's amazing.)
-- Kuro (For becoming just an amazing friend shortly after meeting him and barely knowing me, he has defended me time and time again and he's an amazing guy.)
-- Enchantable (For being the dorkiest clasher I know and one of the biggest personalities I've ever met, he's a dumpster fire of humor.)
-- Kcat (For standing up for me at some points and just being friendly to me, she's a great person and is really nice to me)
-- Feks (For being one of my best friends on the server, he's quite but loud and an awesome friend that I would never want to lose for the life of me.)
-- Atothemax (For just being a funny-ass guy, an all 'round fantastic player and richer than I'll ever be :v)
- DogboyG (For dicking around with me on the server and always being there for events, an incredibly nice guy and pretty funny as well)
-- Devastator (It's quite hard to word how great Dev is, he's always there to play games with and he's just great fun, also a good grapple hook pet.)
-- Terran (For completely just forgetting how awful I was and letting me talk to him, he's become an awesome and friendly guy now that we have finally settled our differences)
-- Zott (Best T-buddy ever, super friendly and great mod/admin, kinda hard to discern the two honestly.)
-- Camvlo (Really awkward and funny guy, gave me his swift deagle for my CCD in a heartbeat, dang scammer. <3)
-- TheLazyNinja (Another one of my absolute best friends next to Feks and Viksen, he's such a personality and he's too nice for words, I'd chill with this guy any day of the week)
-- Unpoke (Supported me even though he barely remembered me, great staff and very friendly towards everyone, just a fantastic guy.)
-- Bezerker (Bez is a strange-ass and funny guy, and has the best Umpty collection I've ever seen, it's fucking incredible.)
-- Fancy/ Tesnik (An amazing and supportive friend that took the time to speak to me and even forgave me for my horrible past actions, one of the first to even consider it if I do believe.)
-- Jerome (Dorkiest black guy I know, really damn funny and absolutely great.)
-- Insane jester wisp (Quite possibly the countriest soundin' guy I know and out of everyone is just too friendly for words, he's bombastic and great.)
-- Viksen (Another one of my amazing best friends alongside Feks and Lazyninja, us three would hang out in the discord all day just playin' TTT, he's an awesome person and a great friend, he also has some flippy ass hair.)
-- Alex Summers (Zott's little brother and even better personal friend, he'd join me and the gang and just play with us all day, he's a great event runner and an even better friend.)
-- Jiyo (Became an awesome friend from NTG on my very last visit, supported me so greatly and just is too nice to me, even with my gay-ass comments to him.)
-- Leo the sexy kitty (Leo was one of my original inspirations for trying to even come back, he was the first to say he'd support me and absolutely is a fantastic guy, he's also a nasty furry like me so ye.)
-- Tango (He wear's meme goggles and makes me laugh my ass off, I despise it and love it and I can't tell whether I feel molested or happy around him honestly. ;v)
-- Mougwi (I honestly never though Moug would like me, and he's really cool and someone I semi look up too, he's really awesome.)
-- Beachbeans (Probably the richest person I ever met like right away, funny as hell and really REALLY good artist, love his work tons.)
-- Dreadork (I never get to play with you and I WILL change that you dork, he's really fun to talk to and he's quite nice despite being a bit quiet?)
-- Mini Cosmic (I really need to get to know him more, supported me so well and is really quite nice, I never get to talk to him though. :[ )
-- Bradley (Disgusting Brit and pretty funny, another person I seriously need to get to know.)
-- Kili (Old friend of mine before I was banned, really freakin' nice and again, another nasty furry friend of mine, he gave me a durendal first thing. <3)
-- Pepper (I really never got to know him before I got banned again, he's pretty damn funny and great to play with, also a fantastical memer.)
-- Rotshout (Great guy that comes pre-packaged with a pedo stache and is a pretty damn good mercy, super nice guy since the beginning and I love him like a brother.)
-- Gilded Doorknob (REALLY REALLY ANCIENT friend of mine from a way old and deceased TTT server, didn't even know it was him until we brought it up, fucking fantastic guy!)
-- Last but not least, Brassx. (For giving me so many chances and being an absolutely sick coder, bringin' us all an amazing reason to play Garry's mod again and again.)
< Do note I have more to add I do believe> I want to thank EVERYONE listed for being amazing in every which way to me and just exceptional friends, and I want to thank Brass for not only giving me one chance, but two, god just.. thank you so much. When I told you I changed Brass, I wanted to say this earlier but I held it in for after I've gotten settled. And everyone, I know I can be annoyance but just remember that I think all of you are like family to me, I love you guys a ton, thank you for somehow reading ALL of this huge barrage of text.
tl;dr : My mom has beaten cancer about 5 times and it's back next to her heart, I'm probably going to lose my mother and my life is kinda belly-up right now, and I'm thanking my friends on here for being great.
Howdy everybody. So I just want to address some issues here and give a big thank you to everyone here. This will also kinda be my 'greeting' to those that cannot remember me or never HAVE met me.
Okay then so, hi, my name is Matt as most people know me, or Isaac. You may have met me on NTG waayyy back in the original years, or you might've met me on FRG, here! So I don't know how to take this whole situation and write it down easily along with a thank you so, just bear with me that I'm really tired. So you might be wondering, "Why have I never heard of this random-ass guy if he seems to carry himself like everyone knows him???", well to explain that, I was banned for a LONG time; I'm just now coming back, about 3-4 months and going strong so far. So if you know me or you don't, hi, I'm always lookin' for friends so please go ahead and friend me, have a chat. Okay so now that I've gotten that part over with, I'm gunna go into some details as to why I'm kinda coming on less and less.
So currently, mostly nobody is going to know about my current situation with my family and such, and yeah you can guess it's pretty damn bad. So about.. March of last year, my mother got results back on a petscan and multiple scans she's had before, because we have a longggg ass line of stuff that runs in the family, diabetes is a big bad one, although none of my family I live with is likely to get diabetes.
For the longest time me and my mother, and my godmother had planned to go out to that one Harry potter place out in Orlando I believe its in, with my now current worst ex I've ever had. We were days away from actually going when my mother had gotten her scan results and as you could guess, that very day changed my whole life and me permanently. It was as I had expected, cancer. So on this specific date which I need to go back to remember the exact day, my mother was diagnosed with stage-3 breast cancer, or more over, it was simply just breast cancer at the time. I really didn't know ANYTHING about cancer at the time, all I knew was that this shit killed people, and a lot of them. Jump forward to my mother's first day of chemotherapy after we discovered the severity of her cancer, and how serious this was. I had completely no idea what chemotherapy looked like and I thought it'd look, much more terrifying than what it really is. For those of you that don't know what chemo looks like, you get sat down in a chair with an IV unit or some kind of unit that deals you doses of liquid through a needle in your body, and you simply sit there for hours and occupy yourself. It's quite sad to look at at first, walking into a chemo clinic you might notice a lot of older folk, tons of hospital equipment and a drug testing room with clear glass walls, where they work with substances I can only assume are the medicines that is being taken by the patients residing in said clinic. The clinic my mother was designated to was absolutely beautiful aside from some of the interior paint being bland and boring, they had an outside zen garden with a pool of water, FULL of koi fish, life, and many animals and flowers. Now for the first few times or as many as I could, I went to this clinic with my mother just to keep her company while she had her dose of chemo. Another flash back to a few months past that, around 8. My mother had beaten cancer and it then came back a few weeks later, this time, it was in her spine, a deadly place for it to appear in. Many more times has my mother beaten cancer and only to have it come back, about 5 times. This remission she was in as of lately has been the LONGEST she has ever gone without cancer, she takes oral chemotherapy every day which is much, much more taxing on her. So as of lately, my mother is taking her long awaited trip to Iceland and home to England with her best friend, she has been wanting to do this since she was 13 and she is FINALLY doing it. You'd think finally, after all this time that cancer would give up, wouldn't you. Just last week we received news that she has cancer in her left lung, a lump about the side of two-three pennies. You'd think we can beat it this time, we as in my family and my mother, right? Well, this cancer just so happens to be right in front of her heart, ALMOST touching it. Right now, she's out in England before her trip out for Iceland, and she's uploading updates to things daily with lovely photos of my British family and such, but one post she made stood out. This is a quote from the post : "Well, due to a bit of a health issue. Iceland has had to be cancelled today." I don't even know what this could mean, she was coughing up blood earlier and holy shit, I can't explain this fear in me. I'm only sixteen right now, currently I'm just a small guy, I don't know where my future is going and without my mother? I don't know what I can do. I just want to state that, I'm incredibly sorry for my absence friends, I'm not able to cope with this.
If I need to edit this, I surely will be rereading it once I'm less tired to fix any mistakes, I want to say one more thing. This is also a thank you to my many amazing friends that I have on FRG and I consider most of you my family. I'd like to personally thank the following people for being amazing to me, and supporting me through everything :
-- Fuzzy Mcnomnoms (Absolutely the biggest supporter and friend of mine next to Kuro, he has helped me unbelievably in making a return and he has such a strong will, he's amazing.)
-- Kuro (For becoming just an amazing friend shortly after meeting him and barely knowing me, he has defended me time and time again and he's an amazing guy.)
-- Enchantable (For being the dorkiest clasher I know and one of the biggest personalities I've ever met, he's a dumpster fire of humor.)
-- Kcat (For standing up for me at some points and just being friendly to me, she's a great person and is really nice to me)
-- Feks (For being one of my best friends on the server, he's quite but loud and an awesome friend that I would never want to lose for the life of me.)
-- Atothemax (For just being a funny-ass guy, an all 'round fantastic player and richer than I'll ever be :v)
- DogboyG (For dicking around with me on the server and always being there for events, an incredibly nice guy and pretty funny as well)
-- Devastator (It's quite hard to word how great Dev is, he's always there to play games with and he's just great fun, also a good grapple hook pet.)
-- Terran (For completely just forgetting how awful I was and letting me talk to him, he's become an awesome and friendly guy now that we have finally settled our differences)
-- Zott (Best T-buddy ever, super friendly and great mod/admin, kinda hard to discern the two honestly.)
-- Camvlo (Really awkward and funny guy, gave me his swift deagle for my CCD in a heartbeat, dang scammer. <3)
-- TheLazyNinja (Another one of my absolute best friends next to Feks and Viksen, he's such a personality and he's too nice for words, I'd chill with this guy any day of the week)
-- Unpoke (Supported me even though he barely remembered me, great staff and very friendly towards everyone, just a fantastic guy.)
-- Bezerker (Bez is a strange-ass and funny guy, and has the best Umpty collection I've ever seen, it's fucking incredible.)
-- Fancy/ Tesnik (An amazing and supportive friend that took the time to speak to me and even forgave me for my horrible past actions, one of the first to even consider it if I do believe.)
-- Jerome (Dorkiest black guy I know, really damn funny and absolutely great.)
-- Insane jester wisp (Quite possibly the countriest soundin' guy I know and out of everyone is just too friendly for words, he's bombastic and great.)
-- Viksen (Another one of my amazing best friends alongside Feks and Lazyninja, us three would hang out in the discord all day just playin' TTT, he's an awesome person and a great friend, he also has some flippy ass hair.)
-- Alex Summers (Zott's little brother and even better personal friend, he'd join me and the gang and just play with us all day, he's a great event runner and an even better friend.)
-- Jiyo (Became an awesome friend from NTG on my very last visit, supported me so greatly and just is too nice to me, even with my gay-ass comments to him.)
-- Leo the sexy kitty (Leo was one of my original inspirations for trying to even come back, he was the first to say he'd support me and absolutely is a fantastic guy, he's also a nasty furry like me so ye.)
-- Tango (He wear's meme goggles and makes me laugh my ass off, I despise it and love it and I can't tell whether I feel molested or happy around him honestly. ;v)
-- Mougwi (I honestly never though Moug would like me, and he's really cool and someone I semi look up too, he's really awesome.)
-- Beachbeans (Probably the richest person I ever met like right away, funny as hell and really REALLY good artist, love his work tons.)
-- Dreadork (I never get to play with you and I WILL change that you dork, he's really fun to talk to and he's quite nice despite being a bit quiet?)
-- Mini Cosmic (I really need to get to know him more, supported me so well and is really quite nice, I never get to talk to him though. :[ )
-- Bradley (Disgusting Brit and pretty funny, another person I seriously need to get to know.)
-- Kili (Old friend of mine before I was banned, really freakin' nice and again, another nasty furry friend of mine, he gave me a durendal first thing. <3)
-- Pepper (I really never got to know him before I got banned again, he's pretty damn funny and great to play with, also a fantastical memer.)
-- Rotshout (Great guy that comes pre-packaged with a pedo stache and is a pretty damn good mercy, super nice guy since the beginning and I love him like a brother.)
-- Gilded Doorknob (REALLY REALLY ANCIENT friend of mine from a way old and deceased TTT server, didn't even know it was him until we brought it up, fucking fantastic guy!)
-- Last but not least, Brassx. (For giving me so many chances and being an absolutely sick coder, bringin' us all an amazing reason to play Garry's mod again and again.)
< Do note I have more to add I do believe> I want to thank EVERYONE listed for being amazing in every which way to me and just exceptional friends, and I want to thank Brass for not only giving me one chance, but two, god just.. thank you so much. When I told you I changed Brass, I wanted to say this earlier but I held it in for after I've gotten settled. And everyone, I know I can be annoyance but just remember that I think all of you are like family to me, I love you guys a ton, thank you for somehow reading ALL of this huge barrage of text.
tl;dr : My mom has beaten cancer about 5 times and it's back next to her heart, I'm probably going to lose my mother and my life is kinda belly-up right now, and I'm thanking my friends on here for being great.
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